If your “positive thinking” is preventing you from seeing reality, it’s not helping you.
Seeing the world through overly optimistic lenses or rose-colored glasses is a common misinterpretation of what inner work really is.
I used to do this all the time.
I would excuse poor behavior and tolerate things from other people in the name of “love” and I thought that was the right thing to do because I wanted to see the good side of things and not have any negative thoughts.
I stayed in relationships that were not satisfying for me longer than I should’ve.
I let things get way out of hand before I even started reacting.
I was calm and in control, and also disconnected from my emotions and my body screaming THAT’S ENOUGH.
My default thinking was “everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be fine, everything is going to work out, people are fundamentally good, I can do this, I am strong, etc.”
And although this kind of thinking generally helps, it shouldn’t be an excuse to give up your power and become passive while people walk all over you.
That’s called being in denial of your current reality.
You are responsible for your power and who you give your energy to.
Lovingly accepting all the things that come your way and watching your mind and staying out of negative thought spirals doesn’t mean doing nothing when shit hits the fan.
If someone comes up to you and hits you in the face…
You don’t have to be reactive or hit the person back, you can see them as “wounded” and know that they are lashing out at you from their pain and “not take it personally” but you do need to decide whether or not you are available to have people in your life hit you in the face like that and then act upon that decision.
You need to look at yourself in the mirror.
There is no magic pill, no overnight solution.
Awareness + Full Responsibility + Decision, followed by ACTION is the only thing that is going to get you out of your old patterns.
As funny as it may seem, some people aren’t aware they are being hit in the face.
Once you know, it’s easy to start blaming the other person and start trying to change them instead of looking at what made you choose to be around that type of person in the first place.
And if you are aware that you are being hit and you take responsibility for your choices but you make no decisions (by the way, in not deciding, you still have made a choice) … how is that going to help ?
And if you see what’s happening, you take full responsibility, you make a decision but you don’t follow-through and act upon it, nobody’s going to do it for you.
I’ll write it again:
Awareness + Full Responsibility + Decision, followed by ACTION is the only thing that is going to get you out of your old patterns.
Being positively passive never has been and never will be the solution.