I used to think I was responsible for other people\u2019s feelings, their happiness and\/or their problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That has a name; it\u2019s called codependency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Codependency is often rooted in childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have six siblings, all younger than me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I grew up being and feeling responsible for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This then became my way of operating, and I reproduced it in all spheres of your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s how I would describe codependency: it\u2019s when you constantly put the needs of others before your own and your happiness depends on things outside of yourself, such as your work, your children, your intimate relationship, your friendships, your family, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s when you have no idea about what you want or how you feel and at the same time, you are an expert at decoding other people\u2019s feelings and meeting others people\u2019s wants and needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And even if you do know how you feel and what you want, you still don\u2019t communicate these things clearly to those around you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your whole life is based on over-giving and under-receiving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have trouble saying no and people are always asking you for more and expecting things from you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You desperately want to be a \u201cgood person\u201d or a \u201cgood student\u201d or a \u201cgood parent\u201d or a \u201cgood partner\u201d or a \u201cgood employee\u201d \u2026 or the \u201cbest\u201d in whatever business you created. You get the point. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You want others to be happy, you want to help them solve all their problems, you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You spend your days and nights doing all of these things for all of these people and constantly have the feeling that it\u2019s never enough, and you feel so tired because you don\u2019t have time to relax or work-out or read a book or eat or sleep or take care of yourself, but you continue anyway because you think you don\u2019t have a choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are the giver. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
People around you are takers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was my reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This can absolutely be your reality, it\u2019s really okay, and it\u2019s not your fault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Know that you always have the power to shift these patterns and create a new reality for yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I now live in a world where it\u2019s ME FIRST, where I have boundaries and where I have time for the things that truly matter to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing other than how I feel inside my body determines whether I\u2019m a yes or a no to something. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some people will tell you that this is selfish or impossible or \u201cnot very nice\u201d \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t believe those things to be true anymore. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You always have a choice. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I used to think I was responsible for other people\u2019s feelings, their happiness and\/or their problems. That has a name; it\u2019s called codependency. Codependency is often rooted in childhood. I have six siblings, all younger than me. I grew up being and feeling responsible for them. This then became my way of operating, and I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-classe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/625","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=625"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/625\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1392,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/625\/revisions\/1392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=625"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=625"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellenormandin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=625"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}